A lot has happened in the three months since this semester started, both personally and professionally, and in some ways I can’t believe it is over already. I wasn’t prepared for the speed with which these three months have gone by, but it has all been wonderful. There were some topics that I wanted to write about but just didn’t get the chance, like Public Humiliation, Skin Stapling, Corsets, more on our Rope escapades, and joining my fellow student bloggers crafting homemade floggers, but I just didn’t have the time.
I re-read my application post and my introduction post in preparation for writing this, my final post on the Kink Academy Student Blog, then looked over all my posts this semester. My intention when applying was to use the videos I would be watching and the techniques I would be learning to get closer with my partner, Onyx, as well as to learn skills that I could use both with him and others.
I began my time as a Kink Academy Student just before we attended Delving Into Power, a weekend workshop by Lee Harrington, and that was a huge catalyst to some drastic changes in the way we related to each other. Because of that, I think, I was able to get even more out of the Kink Academy videos than I would have otherwise. We were looking to build the non-egalitarian relationship of our dreams, as Lee likes to say, and I couldn’t have done it without Kink Academy.
While a lot of my posts centered around a new or old skill that we wanted to learn in-depth there were a few that were a little more exploration-centered. Without Kink Academy I would not have had the opportunity to explore protocol and service in the way that I did and we may not have implemented them and integrated them into our relationship as we have.
My time at Kink Academy has been invaluable, and I’m sad for it to end, though I have no doubt that I’ll be writing about videos on my blog in the future. There are so many more topics to cover and videos to watch, with more and more added each week that I am interested in and drawn to. Kink Academy is a seriously amazing resource for anyone in the kinky or sex-positive communities. I will continue to watch Kink Academy videos for as long as the site is up, this I know. I am an information sponge and aspiring jack of all trades and there is no better place for me.
The biggest challenge for me this semester was timing. I became even busier than I was at the beginning when I knew I could make time for writing a post a week, and while I had time to watch the videos it was finding the time to put them into practice that was the most difficult. Onyx works nights and twelve hour days, and since I am self-employed that basically means I work nights as well, and since I’m self-employed I basically work all of the time. We also had massive amounts of activities on the weekends: workshops, meetings, gatherings, functions. Things we committed to and were excited about, but that often didn’t leave us with any alone time, any “us” time.
Through watching the videos here on Kink Academy, however, I was able to, eventually, make sure that even on those days when we wouldn’t see each other for very long or we were out in public we were able to keep our D/s alive, and keep our connection strong. We implemented small things that make a world of difference, such as helping to put on his coat, or ordering for him at restaurants. I started suggesting things that I could do for him instead of waiting for him to implement things, I felt comfortable bringing new ideas to the table.
While we aren’t perfect (as if that is even possible) we are continually growing closer and stronger in our dynamic. Without the videos on here I know we wouldn’t have gotten to the same place in such a short period of time. We have had the desire for all these wonderful changes for a long time, but didn’t have the ability to put them into practice. We didn’t have the drive or the right connection or the right ideas put to us in exactly the right way.
It’s funny how sometimes you can know something for years, or have skills tucked away in the back of your mind, but it isn’t until someone puts something to you in the right way at the right time that everything clicks. That’s what this semester has been about for me. That’s what happened during my time here. The knowledge and skills Onyx and I had from a decade of reading and thinking about power dynamics, kink, and BDSM were added to the knowledge and skills that every new video taught us and they all catalyzed into something amazing.
I am dedicated to continuing to learn and grow, in life, in work, in my relationships and the intersections between all of those. Onyx and I are dedicated to our relationship continuing to grow and change as we do. While my time writing on the Kink Academy Student Blog is over, my time at Kink Academy is not.