A lot has happened in the three months since this semester started, both personally and professionally, and in some ways I can’t believe it is over already. I wasn’t prepared for the speed with which these three months have gone by, but it has all been wonderful. There were some topics that I wanted to write about but just didn’t get the chance, like Public Humiliation, Skin Stapling, Corsets, more on our Rope escapades, and joining my fellow student bloggers crafting homemade floggers, but I just didn’t have the time.

I re-read my application post and my introduction post in preparation for writing this, my final post on the Kink Academy Student Blog, then looked over all my posts this semester. My intention when applying was to use the videos I would be watching and the techniques I would be learning to get closer with my partner, Onyx, as well as to learn skills that I could use both with him and others.

I began my time as a Kink Academy Student just before we attended Delving Into Power, a weekend workshop by Lee Harrington, and that was a huge catalyst to some drastic changes in the way we related to each other. Because of that, I think, I was able to get even more out of the Kink Academy videos than I would have otherwise. We were looking to build the non-egalitarian relationship of our dreams, as Lee likes to say, and I couldn’t have done it without Kink Academy.

While a lot of my posts centered around a new or old skill that we wanted to learn in-depth there were a few that were a little more exploration-centered. Without Kink Academy I would not have had the opportunity to explore protocol and service in the way that I did and we may not have implemented them and integrated them into our relationship as we have.

My time at Kink Academy has been invaluable, and I’m sad for it to end, though I have no doubt that I’ll be writing about videos on my blog in the future. There are so many more topics to cover and videos to watch, with more and more added each week that I am interested in and drawn to. Kink Academy is a seriously amazing resource for anyone in the kinky or sex-positive communities. I will continue to watch Kink Academy videos for as long as the site is up, this I know. I am an information sponge and aspiring jack of all trades and there is no better place for me.

The biggest challenge for me this semester was timing. I became even busier than I was at the beginning when I knew I could make time for writing a post a week, and while I had time to watch the videos it was finding the time to put them into practice that was the most difficult. Onyx works nights and twelve hour days, and since I am self-employed that basically means I work nights as well, and since I’m self-employed I basically work all of the time. We also had massive amounts of activities on the weekends: workshops, meetings, gatherings, functions. Things we committed to and were excited about, but that often didn’t leave us with any alone time, any “us” time.

Through watching the videos here on Kink Academy, however, I was able to, eventually, make sure that even on those days when we wouldn’t see each other for very long or we were out in public we were able to keep our D/s alive, and keep our connection strong. We implemented small things that make a world of difference, such as helping to put on his coat, or ordering for him at restaurants. I started suggesting things that I could do for him instead of waiting for him to implement things, I felt comfortable bringing new ideas to the table.

While we aren’t perfect (as if that is even possible) we are continually growing closer and stronger in our dynamic. Without the videos on here I know we wouldn’t have gotten to the same place in such a short period of time. We have had the desire for all these wonderful changes for a long time, but didn’t have the ability to put them into practice. We didn’t have the drive or the right connection or the right ideas put to us in exactly the right way.

It’s funny how sometimes you can know something for years, or have skills tucked away in the back of your mind, but it isn’t until someone puts something to you in the right way at the right time that everything clicks. That’s what this semester has been about for me. That’s what happened during my time here. The knowledge and skills Onyx and I had from a decade of reading and thinking about power dynamics, kink, and BDSM were added to the knowledge and skills that every new video taught us and they all catalyzed into something amazing.

I am dedicated to continuing to learn and grow, in life, in work, in my relationships and the intersections between all of those. Onyx and I are dedicated to our relationship continuing to grow and change as we do. While my time writing on the Kink Academy Student Blog is over, my time at Kink Academy is not.

-Scarlet Lotus

This is my final Student Blogger post for Kink Academy. But in no way am I finished learning. While I am stepping aside for a new batch of kinky students, I plan on making a habit of blogging about my favorite videos that have yet to be posted.

My education has been a mixed batch of interests. I’ve explored pet play with Margaret, developing my inner cat and letting it peek out on the surface, geared up to do some face slapping with Princess Kali, and explored my unusual fetishes with Wintersong Taslin. Savannah Sly has taught me how to be kinky Domme I want to be, Kali showed me where the slut buttons are, and Goddess Nyxx gave me the power of kinky arts n’ crafts.

At the beginning of my semester I had a potential submissive on the side that I had hoped to try out some of the techniques I learned here. Sadly that relationship didn’t develop the way I had hoped. The upside was spending more time forcing my wife to be my pain guinea pig, much to her enjoyment. I tried out my spanking techniques by Kali, moving from hand to heavy rubber paddle. This revealed a love for spanking that I hadn’t expected. Kali was also my teacher to learn the art of a good caning. My wife’s backside got quite the workout while I’ve been learning.

Being a finishing graduate student, money has been low and Goddess Nyxx’s tutorials on DIY floggers gave me amazing ideas. This resulted in two of my favorite new toys and the ability to make floggers for gifts in the future. (I bet everyone will want me for secret Santa!) My plastic lacing flogger is brightly colored and deceptively cute with a nice sting. My second toy creation fits with the green movement, changing spent bike inner tubes into a nice rubber flogger.

My softer side benefitted as well from Kink Academy. Amy Jo Goddard showed me how to explore my 2^nd Chakra through yoga movement, breath and mindset. I still practice these relaxing and sensual movements at the end of a hard day to return to self.

Bringing the education away from the internet and into my free time, I had a great time at the Kink Academy Open House seeing many of the KA faculty putting on workshops and demonstrations. I also got my first taste of a violet wand and I’ve been itching to get some more.

I feel that Kink Academy has also helped me with my education as a sexuality counselor and educator. As a kink-friendly professional I want to feel in touch with all my clients. Kink Academy has been my supplemental education where traditional education has left off.

While I may not be here any longer, I look forward to reading the new student bloggers experiences and continuing my own education! Great videos are being taped and produced including more pet play and caning fun. Just follow Kink Academy on twitter for sneak peeks.

~LucyLemonade

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” ~Theodor Seuss Geisel

Where to start the ending?

The last three months that I’ve been blogging for the Kink Academy haven’t always been easy. Many things that I hadn’t anticipated happening, seemed to creep up on me. There were a lot of great things, presenting at both the NELA Fetish Fair Fleamarket and Momentumcon; and some other, personal things that weren’t always so easy to deal with. It sometimes made it difficult to even want to think about writing, much less writing about kink.

One of the truths that I was reminded of while blogging for the Kink Academy is that in my life, kink takes time, effort and work. It’s not all fun and games. And it’s not always easy to shuffle commitments to make room for kink. But I also found that it was necessary for me to find the time. It’s such a large part of who I am, that blogging for the Kink Academy gave me time to explore kink, even when the world around me was at it’s most vanilla. It saved my sanity a few times when I thought I’d go crazy with all the shades of vanilla I’d had to deal with.

When I first applied for the job, I’d had great ideas and people that were willing to help me explore. The ideas stuck, but the people weren’t always available. That was okay though. I managed to learn even without having a partner in crime for a lot of things. Even if I had to use the dining room chair. It surprised me to learn that many of the things taught could be adapted and incorporated into areas of my life that had very little to do with kink. What was even more surprising to me was reading my fellow students’ blogs and realizing that we had a lot of things in common. And even if we’d watched the same video, the way that each of us used it was different.

My original goal was to write about how the information contained in the Kink Academy videos could be incorporated into my life. I thought that this would happen seamlessly by watching them and doing what was in them. I’d pick a subject, I’d learn how to do “something” and I’d do it. What it ended up being was more about how I wanted to incorporate the ideas of what I’d learned into my entire life. New ideas, different ways of seeing things, and things that made me uncomfortable were all given a look-see. I used the Kink Academy videos as a way to expand my outlook, not just my practical skills.

I don’t know that I would have watched some of the videos had I not been blogging about them. And I would have missed out on a whole lot. It would be unlikely that I would have watched a video about Age Play as it isn’t my kink. But I watched Lee Harrington explain it in such a way that, even if it’s NOT my kink, I can at least understand it and talk somewhat intelligently about it with others. I’m glad that I spent so much time wandering around the site and just watching and learning. It increased my understanding of so many different kinks and outlooks, that I see a wider world of kink than I’d normally see in my own small world.

I watched far more videos than I wrote about. I wished I’d had time to write more about Renee’s Gender series and Belt Bondage, or Cecila Tan‘s Submissive series, Sarah Sloane’s Polyamory series, or Madison Young’s Zen Submissive series. I noticed early on that I was drawn to the women educators on the site. It’s likely because of my own affinity for strong, self-assured, women who are comfortable in their kinkiness, but I was, and continue to be, impressed with the wonderful presenters on the site – Princess Kali, Lady Cyanide and Megan Andelloux among them. But perhaps the biggest impact in my own life was from watching Mollena’s series on Service. It made me think some hard things about myself. It made me ask some questions of myself that I hadn’t before. And it gave me lots more questions that I hope to explore by continuing my education at the Kink Academy. There are also some very good series’ that I’m looking forward to seeing more from including Sir Guy’s series on Dealing with Law Enforcement. And I’m waited with bated breath for a florentine flogging video that I heard was coming soon.

It’s difficult to choose which was my favorite experience. I’m split between the Full Contact Dom punching video that I used to give the killer massage to Septimus (which I continue to use and improve upon), and the flogger making series by Goddess Nyxx. I can’t even shop anywhere now without wondering if something would “make a fun flogger”!

All in all this was a wonderful experience for me. I’d do it again in a minute. Or, I’ll just continue to support and use the Kink Academy and expand my knowledge, while increasing the number of questions I ask. I know that I’ll be able to find something at the Kink Academy to help me find my way.

In the meantime, I’d like to call everyone’s attention the the Support a Sex Educator Program. Keep these wonderful presenters in mind and help them provide the content necessary for all of us to learn.

Thanks for a wonderful three months!

~Silverdreams

They say all good things must come to an end and so my time writing for Kink Academy is nearly over. It’s been an interesting semester and I’m surprised at how it’s flown past in a blur. My aim was to write about my experiences and how I’ve incorporated what I’ve seen into my life. The past 3 months have been quite chaotic for me, with a lot going on and sometimes the kinkier aspects of who I am have fallen by the wayside a little but I’ve had Kink Academy to remind me to make an effort and some of the things I’ve learnt about and done have really helped strengthen my relationships.

I think what I’ve been impressed with most has been the huge range of videos on the site. There’s not just instructional videos in the most obvious sense but also information on gender, sexuality, health, what to do when the cops show up…I could go on for a while! Obviously, I’ve been drawn to some areas and videos more than others, but I’ve tried to give everything a chance to broaden my knowledge. I’ve found out more about myself in the last three months than I expected and have discovered new educators who I’m really glad to have come across, especially the wonderful Princess Kali. I’ve also had the chance to interact with my fellow student bloggers and have learnt a lot through their experiences too.

What’s suprised me most is my enjoyment of the full contact dom series. It’s made me realise how much I’ve changed and how my kinky preferences have edged towards playing a bit harder than I expected of myself. I’ve also stored plenty of knowledge for when I do switch and show my sadistic tendencies (and I have been able to use some of my flogging techniques recently).

I’m going to continue to support the site, as it has given me so much and I’d love to keep track of how it grows. There’s some areas that I think could be covered, such as breath play and consensual non-consent and there’s follow ups of videos that I’d love to see, such as the fisting video but I shall leave you with my favourite video from the whole site; the Kink Academy jingle! I’d love one of those outfits!

Alyss Abyss

Rope.

I saved rope for my second-to-last assignment at the Kink Academy. I’d been quite leery of watching videos on a subject that has been something of a difficulty for me personally. One of the things about rope that people fail to ever tell you is that the rope geeks just make it look easy. Unless you’re a girl scout or sailor, tying knots can be difficult. I sometimes tease that I wear high heels simply because they don’t come with laces. I’ve tried to learn before. Several times in fact. But I’ve never gotten the hang of it. I’ve always given up after a few minutes. And I always feel like an idiot in front of other people when learning rope because everyone else seems to get it far easier than I did. I’ve always felt embarrassed that I just didn’t “get” it.

I watched several rope videos to get a feel for the wide variety of rope skills. I watched videos on connection, on suspension (I’m a Graydancer fangirl), on harnesses and corsets and more. Searching for just something that I thought I could actually do. I wanted something easy to learn, so although these were really awesome, I settled down watching the beginning rope videos. I was searching for something uncomplicated, something pretty, and something that wasn’t difficult. AND it had to be something I wouldn’t need a body for.

I tried to find a bottom to practice with, but my schedule hasn’t been easy these past few weeks, not to mention that Septimus hasn’t been feeling very well. So I had to find something I could tie on a pillow or a chair. Something that even I, rope doofus that I am, could do.

I settled on the Lee Harrington Chest Harness. I watched the video several times and felt- apprehensive. I know rope is more about the connection between people, but I also know that the connection happens easier when one is able to do rope without thinking. And that takes practice.

By the time I’d gotten up and retrieved my rope (which was buried so deeply in the closet that it took me a while to find), I’d forgotten how the video said I should begin. Restart the video, X1.

I began tying on the pillow. I tried following alone with the video and because I was having a hard time (my fault, not the video), I had to stop and restart again. X2, X3, and X4.

I got halfway through the video and paused. I thought about all the times that Septimus had tied me and paused. I cried real tears about how I’d been such a dork when he’d needed to practice. If it was this hard, why on earth had I made things more difficult for him? I was beginning to get discouraged about the whole thing. I almost thought I should have watched something else. This was more difficult than I’d imagined. It brought up more feelings about all the times I’d been tied, about all the fun we used to have with rope, about partnership of rope that Septimus and I had found. I’d thought that perhaps the reason why we seem so often disconnected from each other recently is that rope has become secondary to everything else. This was the hardest task I’d set myself to with the Kink Academy. Feeling the wonderful textures of the rope, but through my hands on not through his.

I took a deep breath, I restarted the video again (X5) and continued. I finished the tie and stood back. This is what I’d managed to do. I should have listened to Septimus when he’d said to tie the chair, it’d be easier.

My frustration was taking root in the whole thing and I was ready to just chuck the pillow in the closet and call it a day, when Septimus urged me to try it again. And again. And again.

Around the third time, I realized that I didn’t have to stop and restart the video so often. I was getting further along each time before I had to look for help. I was getting a sense of accomplishment. A sense that I could do this. If I didn’t have the videos, I’d have given up after the first minute of being lost. With the video, I had a teacher of my own. Right. There. In. Front. Of. Me.

After the fourth time, I decided to drop the pillow and ended up with this:

I stepped back and looked at what I’d done. I looked at Septimus and smiled. He stepped back, didn’t make any adjustments, kissed me on the forehead, and said “great job princess”.

I untied the chair and the pillow and started to coil my rope back up. I was thinking of the other videos I’d watched and wondered how much practice I’d have to do to be able to do some of them. I’ll never be great with rope, but I hope to be able to do enough to get by. I’ll be happy with that. A few ties learned from the Kink Academy and I’ll be able to feel confident enough to tie in front of others.

I’d begun coiling the first length of hemp when Septimus stopped my hands. He turned me around to face him. He took my rope in one of his hands and with the other he grabbed the hair at the nape of my neck and forced my eyes up to his. I looked up at him and he whispered to me “now it’s my turn”.

I smiled.

And then I winked and handed him the pillow :)

~Silver