Warmer days are finally here, again and it is time to shake off the shackles of winter and go get your kink on. Now that the weather has changed, and the days are longer, it is the perfect opportunity to dive a bit deeper into the lifestyle and see what fun you can get into. So how do we fight our way free from the winter doldrums and into the light?
For many of us, the colder months lead to hermiting, less gym time, more eating of rich food, followed by multiple layers of warm clothing. By the time the summer days come around, we can find that we don’t have the body confidence we desire. Fear not. The world does not just belong to toned gym bunnies, and no matter what size or shape you happen to come in, there is something out there for you to explore and adventures to have. Work out if you want, don’t if you do not, own your awesomeness no matter what you chose to do, and rock whatever outfit makes you feel sexy!
You might find that your social skills have become a little rusty while you were busy hermiting, and now that there are more parties and events happening, you are battling some social anxiety. The truth is that most of us are fairly shy and socially awkward in some way. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others. It is a rare person that can come swanning into a room, utterly captivate every single person in it, and never feel uncomfortable. Your best bet is to find a neutral, non sexual, topic as a launching pad for conversation. The less pressure you put on yourself, the easier your night will flow.
If you do happen to feel the energy shift in a conversation, and there seems like there is the possibility of sexy times, then by all means, get your flirt on! Flirting is a social lubricant that adds zing to interactions with others. Undertake any flirting mission without expectation or hope of payoff, and be receptive if the other party does not respond. If they do not seem receptive, be graceful, and move on. There is a whole wide world out there, and just because one shoe did not fit, doesn’t mean there isn’t a match for you out there.
Summertime also opens up a new world of possibilities in terms of kink. There are a multitude of sexy shenanigans you can get up to as long as you keep an open mind. How about a first time experience with a butt plug? Pop one in, and attend a party! At the very least, it can make an interesting conversational topic.
You can also experiment with undercover bondage. This tie is perfect for the more “well endowed”. Tie up a tit, throw on a t-shirt, and head out into the world. As long as nobody else can tell that you are secretly bound under your clothes, you can enjoy your kinky secret. Kinky secrets are fun, but if the people around you have not consented to be a part of them, then throwing them into their face can make them highly uncomfortable. Consent is sexy! Forcing a fetish is not.
It is possible that you might break free of your winter cocoon with such vigor and zeal that you get a little conspicuous about it, attracting vanilla eyes. If you flaunt your shimmery kink wings so loudly that you garner the attention of law enforcement, there are some things you should be aware of. No fun public quickie is worth a permanent record.
Your best bet is to always carefully read any situation you are in and behave accordingly. Go get your kink on! But let safety and consent be your guides. Now get out there, and make some memories to last a lifetime.
Rain DeGrey is an international educator and presenter who has lectured at Harvard and Northwestern. She regularly teaches classes on a wide variety of sexual and kink topics, writes a bi-monthly advice column, and blog. For more information, event listings and classes, check out her website raindegrey.com!