All relationships have their ups and downs, a natural progession. Sometimes they will be high as a kite, filling you with glee. Other times there will be dips where your paths barely cross and your alone whilst together. And there’s everything in between too. Or so I’ve found. Monogomous people seem to forget this when they see a polyamorous relationship going wrong, or even not being perfect. Sure, polyamory has its complexities but the general problems will quite probably still be there even if other partners aren’t involved.
This post is probably going to get quite personal. I’ve had a hell of a week, feeling like I’m on a rollercoaster of emotions. I’ve doubted myself and my relationships and gone full circle with how I feel. I have realised so many things and really need to make more effort to make everything work. I need to learn how to communicate more (there’s some very good videos on here about that) and I need to give myself a break every now and then. Relationships aren’t easy and I will need to work at them all.
There’s never enough hours in the day, what with owning a house and having to work and get things done at home. I’ve been awful recently about finding time to just be with B as there’s been so much going on. I’ve not taken the time to just have some fun and relax around him. This has been a problem for a long time and we talk about changing things but taking some action isn’t always happening. And it’s caused a few tiny things to be blown out of proportion into a huge emotional stress that has made me realise just how strong my relationships really are, although it’s taken tears and tantrums to get to that.
To be honest, I’m not sure how to really talk about this. Not one of my finer blogging moments but I’m still feeling quite raw; things have been shaken up and, although everything is better, it still takes some getting used to. I want to say how amazing the polyamory resources are on Kink Academy. I’m still quite new to being part of a polyamorous relationship and I’m still learning to deal with jealousy in a healthy way. There are some great videos on here to help dealing with it and understanding it more and I feel I’m getting there. It’s been especially important now that B has O in his life too plus I need to know that I can cope if S finds another person for her too. Our lives are fluid and I need to remember that and work with the flow and dynamic.
Sorry for the rambling and hesitancy; this has been harder to talk about than I expected. Normal service will resume; I will get up to something kinky to make up for my emotional outbursts!