Life is busy. There’s all kinds of things on your to-do list, messages to answer, statuses to update, and by the time you get to set aside some time for the hot & sexy kink, it can be hard to get into the right mindset. The right music can help you leave the rest of the world behind, though, and clear your head to focus on more physical pleasures.
Here are five ways you can make sure to have the right music for the perfect kinky mood:
1. YOUR SEX. YOUR MUSIC. It’s fine to take the suggestions of other people or to use music from the soundtracks of movies you like. However, if circus calliopes are what get your juices flowing, play it loud! At the same time, if you are really fond of “stereotypical” BDSM music such as industrial metal or goth, go ahead and play that. “I Want to Fuck You Like an Animal” may get overplayed, but there’s a reason for that: it’s a really sexy song!
2. REMEMBER THERE ARE TWO OF YOU. Or more – we don’t judge – but it is important to make sure that your music isn’t a turn-off for your partner. One way to make sure of this is to use one of the many online music services to share a “station”. As you both listen to it apart from each other, you can “like” songs or not, and gradually the station will become a custom-made soundtrack for your sexy time.
3. SHRINK THE WORLD. While it’s fun to live in an “always-on” world, this is not the time to engage in it. Shut off your computer beeps, your phone buzzes, your alarm clocks, phone ringers, whatever makes noise that might distract you from what you’re doing. Then play the music loud enough to mute the rest of the outside world – though not so loud that it distracts the neighbors. It’s entirely acceptable to both wear headphones, even, if that doesn’t take away from your fetish attire. Sharing the music in an overwhelming way can give you a visceral connection to each other.
4. BECOME A CURATOR. Always be on the lookout for new and inspiring music – you will hear it in the most unlikely places. A song in a commercial by “Massive Attack” can lead you to a whole genre of music, or a catchy album cover or name might just make music seem sexy that you wouldn’t normally listen to. A band called “Go Right”, for example, might not seem all that sexy – but when you see the naked ass, stiletto heel, and the album named “Music for Military Torture” with songs like “Fuck Like a Movie Star”, suddenly just the act of selecting that song can get you in the mood.
5. RETRO CAN BE SEXIER. As any hipster audiophile will tell you, “vinyl just sounds better.” While you don’t have to become a music snob, there is something to be said for the physical act of creating something for your partner. In the ’80’s it was mix tapes, in the ’90’s it became mix CD’s, and now it is custom-made internet radio stations that send messages of love and lust between partners. The fact is that the simple motions of taking out a record, putting it on a turntable, and gently dropping the needle all creates an aura of anticipation that can entirely spice up foreplay. Choose the device and media that speaks to you both and enjoy it together – even live music can create environments that add the spice of public arousal to your sexy time. Just don’t get arrested!
These are just a few of the ways to let the right music help you get in the mood. Using apps such as iTunes, Pandora, Spotify, the new Rdio, or Grooveshark all give you immediate access to more music than you could possibly listen to. But you can also find ways to integrate music into your kink: use the length of a song to set the time limit for a predicament (“Hold it in until the song is done!”), or use it as a metronome during some kind of physical punishment. If a bottom is particularly OCD, paddling them OFF the beat can be a special kind of torture. You could even create a kind of sadistic “musical chairs” with implements placed on chairs while the bottom moves from seat to seat, waiting for the music to “stop” and reveal what’s to be used on them next.
Sometimes the best music is no music at all, only the sound of breathing, moans, and cries of passion as you enjoy the kinky fun. Keep an ear out for the sexy music around you, though, and it will become another tool bringing your fantasies to life.