We all know what it’s like to be on the first date with someone or happen to just meet someone when you are out and about. You both are clearly into each other but then somehow the conversation shifts. It isn’t bad but it breaks that loin-warming feeling for a moment, and it is a crapshoot as to whether or not it will get back there. As a phone sex operator for the past 12 years, having to bring a conversation back from the brink of a hang-up to a highly erotic zone has been my bread and butter. I can tell you with expertise that it’s in fact possible!
CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT!
I do want to make the distinction first, though; redirecting a conversation is not about going away from a consensual conversation. Dr. Sprott did an excellent piece about pivoting off what has become an un-sexy conversation back to something that gets the engines revving.
To do this, imagine that you had a rewind button in your pocket. You can go back a full minute in your conversation. Pick up on what was sexy about that moment! Settle your mind back into that moment and try to recreate it mentally. How was your body posed? What vocal tones were you making? Where were you looking? By visualizing that super sexy space in your head, your body will start to recreate it. Your partner will also begin to clue in on it. As they start to react, stay away from the conversation that moved you away from this feeling. Really try to intensify this moment!
Keep in mind, though, if your partner is entirely uninterested in continuing, no amount of pivoting is acceptable and would make this interaction nonconsensual. Read the situation; body language and tone of voice will tell you whether or not this situation has been derailed. Also, try to pay attention as to whether or not they are still engaged. If they are no longer engaged in the discussion, ask about the situation.
UP THE DIRTY TALK – UP THE ANTE
So the problem in the conversation has been identified and the first band-aid has been applied to the mood. That is not enough, though! The discussion can easily backslide as it did before if you are not vigilant. However, staying hyperfocused on where the conversation was going will kill the mood for you and eventually the mood of your partner. So how do you keep the gears greased but get that wheel on autopilot? Kim Airs has written a great piece on how to start dirty talking that might help you get going!
For this technique to work, you don’t need 13 years’ experience, but understanding the basics will help aid in ensuring it goes smoothly. By layering on different methods of sexy speech, the derailed conversation will fall further and further behind. Make sure to describe in vivid detail what you are feeling. Is your heart racing, focus sharpening, mouth watering? Tell your partner this, but do not let them touch/feel if they’re with you. Keep the teasing nature up. Make them feel what you are feeling with nothing more than your words. Lock eyes with them (if possible), guide the conversation gently, and truly pretend that little blip did not happen. If even you can forget it, your partner will too!
YOUR TONE SAYS IT ALL!
The tone of your voice is so important! If you’re looking for suggestions, Ashley provides excellent tips on how to control your own tone. How is tone critical to bringing a failing conversation back around to a sexual encounter? Once you have avoided the iceberg and begun talking dirty, managing your tone will ensure you seal the deal. How can someone forget that there was a moment of doubt when you sound like you totally want them?
After all, we all flub up and fumble here and there, even in a verbal sexual interaction. It’s the human condition and it’s never too late to turn that Titanic around if you identify this particular iceberg in time!
Amberly Rothfield is a 13 year vet to the phone sex industry and has been one of the top Dominas on the Niteflirt platform. Now teaching the methods of marketing she used to obtain such popularity, Rothfield has penned a 250 page book entitled “How I Made 10k a Month as a Phone Sex Operator.”