Kink Academy is so full of  interesting videos it was hard to decide what my next course would be. I went through the entire archives several times jotting down the videos that caught my attention. Sure there were the kinky play items on there that KM and I would like to improve, but there are also a lot of personal development videos that caught my attention. There are ones on protocol and service that I’m sure I’ll be enjoying in the future. (Jay has already watched a few if you want to read his experiences.)

Since KM has told me that my explorations through Kink Academy is for my own journey and development I chose a series of videos that have to do with enhancing my own sexual experience. We all want that, don’t we? I love sex. I think KM and I have fantastic sex. So I honestly was a bit skeptical on how this video would help me have better orgasms and ultimately we’d have better sex.

Body, Mind, Heart and Spirit

Sheri Winston takes us on a Holistic Sexuality Journey in her 4-part series. The first part about Breath (5 min) also is an introduction to the entire series. Did you know better sex begins with you? I don’t know how many times in my sexual history I thought, “If only he’d do this more” or ” Why can’t he get me off?” I did put the blame of my unsatisfied sex life in the hands of my partners more than myself and yes sometimes they were to blame. But that’s not the point.

I can control and embrace my own sexual journey from low level excitement to orgasm. Sheri shares with us the first step which is using our Breath. She says to become aware of what your breath naturally does at different stages of your sexual excitement.  Once you know how your breathing changes and what areas you may hold your breath or breathe shallow you can work to change and control your breathing to launch you into different stages of sexual excitement and follow into a trance.

My Breathing

After the video I laid back and decided to give it a try. I would focus on my breathing while I masturbated and make mental notes of how my breathing ebbed and flowed, shallow to deep and also what noises I made because I feel that’s an important part of enjoying sex for me.

In the first stages of excitement I have a deep slow breath pattern. Launching into the next phase I make a bit of noise in the form of moans and sighs. This all seems really natural and comfortable for me. My breath quickens but it seems to be the same depth as I get more excited.

The moans and groans are just part of this heightened phase because I notice that inbetween the noises I hold my breath a lot. Referencing Sheri this is an area I can work on to not hold my breath. I’ll be working on that in my practice.

Nearer my climax I started to pant in short, shallow breaths. I’m wondering if I tried to slow my breathing down if it would hold off the orgasm. I’ll have to try that.

At orgasm, typically when I’m not doing this alone (with KM sleeping) I’m pretty loud with a guttural moan or scream or explicative rain. However, alone I tend to be quiet, again holding my breath through the entire orgasm which today ended in a headache.

What Did I Learn?

I think I could easily use Sheri’s holistic approach to better sex by connecting with myself. I have a few areas of breathing that I’d like to work on to see if I can improve the experience. I hold my breath which dampens the experience. I’ll want to practice not holding my breath if I want better orgasms and heightened sexual experiences. I’ll also want to try slowing my breathing closer to my orgasm to see if that holds it off. It would come in handy when KM says I have to hold it after I’ve asked for release. I wonder if my breathing is different if KM is watching me vs. masturbating alone. I’ll have to check that out as well.

I’m looking forward to the other 3 parts in this series to see where else I can improve my own sexual journey.

–lunaKM