There’s a lot of overlap between kinksters and queer folks. Even if you’re not part of the LGBTQIA2S+ umbrella yourself, it’s a good idea to be well versed for the likelihood that you’ll meet or play with kinksters who are.
Knowing some basic terms is a great first step in learning about the incredible diversity of sexuality and gender.
LBGTQIAS+
If it feels like the acronym keeps getting longer, that’s because it does! But don’t worry, we can help get you up to speed.
Note: These definitions are the most common ways that people use these terms. But people tend to use whatever word resonates with them the most, regardless of whether their situation fits neatly into these boxes. It’s okay for people to use the label that they like best! Respect their choice, even if it doesn’t align with how the majority of people use that word.
L – Lesbian
A lesbian is usually a woman who is attracted to other women. There are also non-binary folks who identify with the term lesbian.
G – Gay
A gay person is usually a man who is attracted to men or a woman who is attracted to women.
B – Bisexual (aka bi)
A bisexual person is usually a person of any gender who is attracted to people of any gender. The term originally meant someone who is attracted to men or women, but as more people are now identifying as non-binary, it has shifted (though some people still use the original definition). Also, pansexual is similar to bisexual, but it means someone who is attracted to people regardless of their gender.
T – Transgender (aka trans)
A trans person is someone whose gender is different from the gender they were assigned at birth. This can include trans women, trans men, non-binary folks, and other gender nonconforming people. However, not all non-binary people identify as trans.
Q – Queer
Queer is usually used as an umbrella term to mean anything on the LGBTQIA2S+ spectrum (or beyond!). It was originally a homophobic slur, but has been reclaimed by many people in a spirit of inclusion and resistance to oppression. The Q is also sometimes used to mean questioning.
I – Intersex
An intersex person is someone whose chromosomal, hormonal, or anatomical sex characteristics combine in a way that falls outside of medical classifications of male and female.
A – Asexual (aka ace)
An asexual person is usually someone who does not experience sexual attraction or has little or no interest in sexual activity. There is a wide spectrum of asexuality that includes people who have no sexual interest or behaviors to people who feel sexual attraction to select people or in certain situations, etc.
2S – Two-Spirit (aka 2S)
Two-spirit is used by some Indigenous and First Nations people as an umbrella term to describe their gender and sexual attraction as fluid and diverse.
+ – Plus
This list does not encompass all of the diverse experiences of gender and sexuality, so in lieu of adding more and more letters, the plus is a nod to the other identities that aren’t listed.
Other terms to know:
Allosexual
The opposite of asexual.
Cisgender
The opposite of transgender.
Demisexual (aka demi)
A demisexual person usually experiences sexual attraction only after forming an emotional bond with a person.
Non-Binary (aka enby)
A non-binary person experiences their gender as falling outside the binary gender categories of man or woman. Many non-binary people feel that their gender contains elements of woman and man, while others feel no gender at all, or a different gender altogether.
Go deeper with video tutorials:
- TransQueering Your Sex: Pronouns – free video!
- Transqueering Your Sex: What Sex Can Look Like – members only
- Genderqueer Bondage – members only
- Sex with a Transman – members only